How on earth is it so easy to not think twice about any of that, but when it comes to God having control in my life, I hesitate. I stop, I kick, I scream, I turn to run the other way... I wonder what the flight attendants would think if I did that as I got on the plane... hmmm... haha... anyways, how is it so easy to trust someone you have never even heard of in your life, yet so difficult to trust someone who has proved to be faithful time and time again? Ya know, I think it has to do with all God has done for us. He knows everything about us, so for Him to let us down, it would be devastating. Though God has proven He is trustworthy, think about it. If some stranger you just met lets you down, you shrug it off, it's not that big of a deal. Yet when your best friend promises you something, and then they don't go through with that promise, it absolutely devestates you. Why? Because they've invested time in you before, You've grown to trust them. So if God were to let us down, it would be sooooo much worse.
But then again, that doesn't explain why we doubt Him in the first place... maybe it's our own insecurity... If we are able to fully trust God, what are we admitting? We admit that we can't handle things ourselves. We are admitting we are weak. It's been said that in our weakness He is made strong, but do we believe that? As humans, that is really hard for us to do... It seems even when we trust God, it's hard for us to let go. Is that even trust though? "Well yeah, I believe God can handle this, but I don't really want Him to right now, I just want to keep trying myself." I think trust is more than a belief that God can do something, it's the action of letting go without hesitancy.
"To trust Him means, of course, trying to do all that He says. There would be no sense in saying you trusted a person if you would not take his advice. Thus if you have really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him. But trying in a new way, a less worried way."
C. S. Lewis
Matthew 14:27- 31
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
The first thing I notice in that story is how Peter never asked if he would be able to walk on the water. He never questioned it, Peter just trusted that if Jesus called him to Himself, Peter would be able to get there. Everytime God calls us to Him, and we walk to Him, we don't often ask about the journey there, we just go (when we're finally able to trust Him that is), and are then surprised by what we face. Jesus never told Peter it would be a nice, calm little stroll to Him, no not at all. In fact, it was windy, and out on the middle of open water... thats intesnse! All of a sudden, in the midst of it, Peter started doubting, which is when he began to sink. Yet, in that point of desperation, he cried out to Jesus, who was within reach of Peter. We always see Jesus as a ways off when Peter starts sinking, but Jesus' response to Peter's crying out was immediate, and He caught His friend, asking why He doubted. Peter wasn't far off when he started drowning, no he was actually within reach of Jesus, and had he wanted to, he could've grabbed onto the man, but the wind and the waves got to him and he doubted anyways. I think we're all a lot like Peter. We trust God initially, but as we walk out into the open, all of a sudden we're aware of the storm around us. Our circumstances become so much clearer than the fact that God is right next to us through it all. We become so absorbed in the uncertain, our focus shifts from what we know to be true. When we fail to see God and trust Him, we start drowning in everything going on. We wait until we get to a point of desperation to cry out to God. Yet He never fails us, even when we hesitate before crying out. He is still always there to grab us and hold on even when we can't keep ourselves up (which is always =P). What if as soon as the wind started, when we became vividly aware of the circumstances around us, we trusted that God wasn't going to let us drown? What if we reached out and grabbed God's hand, before He had to grab ours? Would it change anything? What do you think?
I don't really know what else to say, those are just my random ponderings lately... but I found this quote, and I just want to say... I want to be able to trust in God like this, I couldn't imagine how hard something like that must've been, and to be able to trust that God is good, even in those times, without doubt... wow.
Often I have heard people say, "How good God is! We prayed that it would not rain for our church picnic, and look at the lovely weather!" Yes, God is good when He sends good weather. But God was also good when He allowed my sister, Betsie, to starve to death before my eyes in a German concentration camp. I remember one occasion when I was very discouraged there. Everything around us was dark, and there was darkness in my heart. I remember telling Betsie that I thought God had forgotten us. "No, Corrie," said Betsie, "He has not forgotten us. Remember His Word: "For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him." Corrie concludes, "There is an ocean of God's love available - there is plenty for everyone. May God grant you never to doubt that victorious love - whatever the circumstances."
Corrie Ten Boom
